Grrrrr. This is a real rambling rant on X

[n2nsites]

Okay so this is supposed to be about "who is pissing you off right now", right? MY EX.
Yeah I know we are all tired of hearing the ex-bashing but....I am going to do it anyway. Maybe someone somewhere will have a suggestion that I can follow through on.

My ex. I have been divorced for over 10 years. My child support award was $300/mo FOR THREE KIDS. If that isn't insulting enough, he has never paid said child support. EVER. Now, at times I have been poorer than I am now, no doubt. And I have always been very lucky so while I struggled, we didn't suffer. You know? I always thought I was doing better than he - after all, I had my kids and that was all I wanted. So my oldest spent two weeks in the hospital with a collapsed lung and I asked the MOTHER FUCKER to please help with the hospital bill. (For anyone wondering, no he did not come to the hospital once.) I arranged to pay $85 a month on the bill - he said he would help. Have I seen ANYTHING?? No. I am screaming. So my oldest sees him pretty regularly and I asked him tonight - "Dad said he was sending me $85 with you. Did he?" And my son says, "Well, instead of giving you the money he said he would buy me something for $75 and gave me $10."

You know, it took some swallowing of pride to call that jackass and say hey I am broke I need $85. So my 18-year old son had to lend me money. God I am so mad. I wouldn't piss on him if he was dying of thirst. Not my son - his dad.

Now let me say this. I take responsibility for my mistakes. I should never have married him, depended on him, or anything else. But he gave me my life - my kids. I have always felt it was my mistake to think he would ever take care of them in any way. Now I wonder if I was just making excuses for why I didn't take him back to court to force him to pay. See, I live in a nice house, drive a nice car, the kids go to great schools. He doesn't have a car, lives in a one room......thing. So I tell myself why take away from someone who has nothing? But others suggest I am just allowing him to continue to be what he is - irresponsible.

I used to wrap presents for the kids and put his fucking name on them so they would think he remembered their birthdays. He doesn't even know how old my youngest is. I have never hated a person, but I am getting very close.

So now, when I need a little help, this is what I get. Ten fucking dollars. I won't even go into the rest of the story - why I needed money. I am just living a fucked up life and smiling all the way through it so nobody knows.

So. Now that THAT is off my chest.....who has a reasonable suggestion for what I should do? Go to court? I don't even know if I have the strength.
How about any suggestions on why I am such a WEINIE that I avoid confrontation at all costs - to the extent that I am ranting on an internet forum instead of facing that DOUCHE?

*sigh* Hmmmm. I think I feel better now. Gee thanks for listening! *fake smile*


Hey Rick, if you want to move this to a more appropriate spot, feel free. hahaha Like I have to give YOU permission. HAHAHAHAHA *whew* I needed a laugh.

[outgirl]

Damn. I don't want to be misunderstood here because I believe that regardless of the circumstances involved, if you spread your seed then you gotta be responsible. But I also believe that a bad piece of shit dad who doesn't even show his kids love when they're sick is gonna cause more harm to them in the long run than anything. He sounds bad for you and the kids. I say fuck going to court unless you absolutely feel you have to. One good thing is that hospitals don't usually turn you over for collection as long as you have an agreement with them and you follow through. They're so used to not getting paid. A lot of people don't have insurance. If you have to, call them and tell them the original agreement was based on money from their dad and now the bastard won't pay. Wow. I feel for you. It's not fair. Wish I could help.

[n2nsites]

if you want fair, go to Sedalia.

I don't think I am too worried yet about the hospital. I only owe one more payment and I should have that by next paycheck. I just don't know when that next paycheck will be yet. But I did get a collection notice from someone on behalf of the hospital - I still have 30 days. *sigh* It'll be fine, and I know that. I guess it's just the principle of the thing. Well, that and I am pissed at the ten dollar token.

I don't want to go to court because he could end up in jail. Bottom line. I don't want my babies' daddy in jail. What good does that do? Still no money. And I don't trust the court system. If I get a lawyer, they want $2000 up front. Fuck, he'd pay me $300/mo for seven months before I'd break even. Like he'd even do that. Or I found one who'd take 10% of what she'd collect. Right. Like she's gonna work real hard for $30.

I'm quitting now. I could rant all night. Oh gee, I all ready have.

(forcing myself to leave the keyboard................)

[dr snootch]

Wow, sorry about your situation. On the other hand, your kids seem to have a mom that will do whatever it takes to take care of them. Some would consider that very lucky.

I agree about not taking him to court, jail time aside, you probably wouldn't get any money ordered by a court. Technically, the court already 'ordered' him to pay $300/month that he's not paying, and their only recourse, as you pointed out, would be throwing him in jail, which does no one any good.

By the way, $300/month for 3 kids is BULLSHIT. Just wanted to get that off my chest. I don't even have kids and I know that's BULLSHIT.

Sorry again, about your situation. I have faith that you're going to get through all this and be fine. Keep up your spirits and keep loving your kids. You can't go wrong.

[outgirl]

[quote author=dr snootch link=board=CA&thread=1083383323&start=3#0 date=108341289
Sorry again, about your situation. I have faith that you're going to get through all this and be fine. Keep up your spirits and keep loving your kids. You can't go wrong.[/quote]

agreed

[n2nsites]

drsnootch:

I agree about not taking him to court, jail time aside, you probably wouldn't get any money ordered by a court. Technically, the court already 'ordered' him to pay $300/month that he's not paying, and their only recourse, as you pointed out, would be throwing him in jail, which does no one any good.

My problem is that he knows this. He knows I won't follow through that drastically. If I did, he'd leave, get a new SSN and go on with his life. And I think my kids would blame me. The irony lies in the fact that even though he doesn't see them, they know he's around. I think that gives them some comfort. So I leave it alone. The good? They know. They know it isn't fair, they know he doesn't do what he should, they know I sacrificed for them (well, they will eventually understand..) and they know he didn't. In the end, I come out ahead because I don't trash him, I just let facts stand alone.

[RS Davis]

I think it is all good advice. The only other idea I would give is, have a lawyer send him a scary letter. It might help.

Man, I hope I never get divorced. That sucks.

- Rick

[outgirl]

RS said:

I think it is all good advice. The only other idea I would give is, have a lawyer send him a scary letter. It might help.

Man, I hope I never get divorced. That sucks.

- Rick

My divorce proved that you don't need the legal marriage to have a really fuckin bad divorce,lol. Who would have thought 2 lesbians in the country could have such a vicious breakup. I always knew it would be bad if we split, but I never imagined having police and restraining orders involved. When you get to that point where there is so much joint property, it gets nasty. I have always thought that was what a marriage was suppose to be...joining your assets to make a better life. I will never do that again. Whats mine is mine. Fuck it.

[Mylaan]

Sashenka's way of dealing with a lousy ex:


First arm yourself with a tool. A paperclip will do just fine. Use it to decapitate the offending ex. Put the head in a microwave, push on HIGH for 15 minutes. You need not be concerned about that part anymore. Then take what's left of your ex, and lay those leftovers neatly in your driveway.
"Convince" the construction crew outside to let you borrow their steamroller, after all, those-bloody-sons-of-bitches-woke-you-up-at-the-crack-of-dawn-
with-their-racket-can't-they-tell-you-have-PMS... ahem, never mind... huh,
so, start the steamroller and carefully roll over the ex leftovers several times. Make that several more times, about a few thousand times actually, until the ex leftovers become paper thin and delicately translucent.

You should be able, by picking up a corner, to see through it easily enough to read a street sign 2 blocks away.
Be sure to politely thank the construction crew for the use of the steamroller, you never know when you will need their help again.

Then start folding the translucent sheet of abnoxious ex leftovers, carefully. This is not origami, though, so be sure to fold corner to corner, nice and flat. You might need to step on the folded parts and hop up and down a few times to make sure your project is nice and neat.
Fold as many times as you need, until the whole thing reaches the size of a greeting card.
Slide the resulting patch in the prettiest Hallmark envelope you can find. Victorian designs are lovely, for that.

On the envelope, in your best calligraphy, write
"This-is-what-happens-to-self-centered-selfish-abnoxious-troglodytes-who-
think-the-world-revolves-around-them-don't-you-ever-piss-me-off-again-
you-despicable-piece-of-squished-up-excrement".
Don't forget to put a stamp on the upper right corner.

Drop into the toilet of any public bathroom. Flush as many times as needed.
VOILA!
Now grab his credit cards and go shopping.

See? No need to get all depressed, sweetheart, and it's more satisfying than chocolate!

[outgirl]

LMFAO