Post by RS Davis on Jan 11, 2005 14:13:24 GMT -5
Q. Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?
A. Because he's a quadriplegic.
Q. What's 3 feet tall and gives great head?
A. Your son.
Q. Why did Hitler kill himself?
A. He got his gas bill.
Q. How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
A. Her parents accidentally left the plunger in the toilet.
Q. What's the difference between mono and herpes?
A. You get mono when you snatch a kiss.
Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A: Mace
Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Because they deserve them
Q. What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
A. Both of their last hits were The Wall.
Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia.
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Q. What's the difference between snot and broccoli?
A. Kids won't eat broccoli.
Q. What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A. They both have wet noses.
Q: Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A: Becase women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.
Q. What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?
A. The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
Q. Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
A. Because women don`t get blow jobs while they`re driving.
Q: What's eighteen inches long, has a purple head, and makes a woman scream all night long?
A: Crib death!
Q: What do you do after eating a bald pussy?
A: Put the diaper back on.
Q. What's the great thing about an Ethiopian blow job?
A. You know she'll swallow.
Q. Why does a bride smile as she walks up the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.
Q. How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A. Pick him up and suck his dick
Q. Why did Jeffrey Dahmer keep a blender on his porch?
A. So he could greet visitors with a handshake.
Q. What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A. "I feel like a kid again."
The dirty old man pulls up in his car beside a little boy.
Holding a bag full of sweets, he says: "Hey kid, if I give you a piece of candy, will you come in my car?"
"Heck mister, give me the whole bag and I'll come in your mouth!"
A little girl is standing by the edge of a cliff crying her eyes out. A man comes over and says, "What's wrong little girl?"
The little girl still crying just points over to the edge of the cliff. The man looks over the edge and sees a car with the little girl's parents mangled on the rocks below.
The man turns round, unzips his fly and says, "I guess it just ain't your lucky day!"
A man goes into a pharmacy. He says to the druggist: "I need some birth control for my eleven-year-old daughter."
"Is your little girl sexually active?" asks the druggist.
"Nah, she just lays there like her mother."
More to come... (if you can take it)
A. Because he's a quadriplegic.
Q. What's 3 feet tall and gives great head?
A. Your son.
Q. Why did Hitler kill himself?
A. He got his gas bill.
Q. How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
A. Her parents accidentally left the plunger in the toilet.
Q. What's the difference between mono and herpes?
A. You get mono when you snatch a kiss.
Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A: Mace
Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Because they deserve them
Q. What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
A. Both of their last hits were The Wall.
Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia.
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Q. What's the difference between snot and broccoli?
A. Kids won't eat broccoli.
Q. What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A. They both have wet noses.
Q: Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A: Becase women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.
Q. What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?
A. The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
Q. Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
A. Because women don`t get blow jobs while they`re driving.
Q: What's eighteen inches long, has a purple head, and makes a woman scream all night long?
A: Crib death!
Q: What do you do after eating a bald pussy?
A: Put the diaper back on.
Q. What's the great thing about an Ethiopian blow job?
A. You know she'll swallow.
Q. Why does a bride smile as she walks up the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.
Q. How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A. Pick him up and suck his dick
Q. Why did Jeffrey Dahmer keep a blender on his porch?
A. So he could greet visitors with a handshake.
Q. What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A. "I feel like a kid again."
The dirty old man pulls up in his car beside a little boy.
Holding a bag full of sweets, he says: "Hey kid, if I give you a piece of candy, will you come in my car?"
"Heck mister, give me the whole bag and I'll come in your mouth!"
A little girl is standing by the edge of a cliff crying her eyes out. A man comes over and says, "What's wrong little girl?"
The little girl still crying just points over to the edge of the cliff. The man looks over the edge and sees a car with the little girl's parents mangled on the rocks below.
The man turns round, unzips his fly and says, "I guess it just ain't your lucky day!"
A man goes into a pharmacy. He says to the druggist: "I need some birth control for my eleven-year-old daughter."
"Is your little girl sexually active?" asks the druggist.
"Nah, she just lays there like her mother."
More to come... (if you can take it)
